Short Calls

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to transfer someone from the 18th century into the 21st century?  It is not much of a stretch to say that it is probably very similar to what a rural Ugandan experiences who has never left the village.  Recently I had the unique experience of taking a young man to Kampala to visit his brother who had never been to the city before. During the whole 4 hour trip he never stopped chattering about all that he was seeing for the first time in his life.  He was like a 3 year old asking "what is that?", "what does that do?", etc. But once we reached the outskirts of Kampala, he became silent.  The whole way into the city he never said a word.  He was just "bug eyed" and silent.  

Once we arrived at the place that seemed central to where we both were headed, I gave him instructions on how to find a boda boda (small, insane motorcycle taxi) and how to get to the hospital where his brother was staying.  Needless to say he was overwhelmed with fear.  I asked if he had any questions and when he finally opened his mouth to speak, the first thing he asked me was what he should do if he has to "go for short-call" (urinate).  

I have no idea all that went through his mind as we traveled through this massive city, but of all the things that could happen to him, all the unknowns of how to get around in a city where they don't speak his language, all the questions he needed to ask about how to find a bus to take him back to his home in the village, the one thing on his mind was what to do if he has to "go for short-call".  Far be it from me, a certified coffee addict, to minimize that question.  But since I've been here, I've never known a Ugandan to wonder about the answer to that.  It is forever a common sight to see a man standing on the side of the road with his back to you (or not) tending to that need.  It is simply an altogether familiar sight.  But somehow he figured out that they must not behave that way in the city and he needed to know what to do.

I decided that the best thing to do would be to take him into the mall where I had parked to let him relieve himself before he ventured off into this concrete wilderness of strange sights and sounds.  Now you have to appreciate the fact that he comes from a place where there is no electricity and no plumbing.  You travel a long way everyday just to get water.  As we walked into the building he saw a large fountain near the entrance with a really nice spray of water.  He was completely dazzled by the sight.  As we passed through the building filled with shops and bright, blinking lights ... and so many white people, I could tell he was experiencing sensory overload. We finally reached the men's room.  When I pointed to the door he started to walk through and as he looked in he just froze.  He stood in the middle of  the doorway and didn't move.  He kept staring at the wall.  Curious, I finally decided to go see what the strange sight was that held him spellbound in the doorway.  As I approached the door opening I looked inside and saw that he was staring at a row of urinals attached to the wall.  He turned to me in complete perplexity and with uneasiness in his eyes and asked, "Is that it?  What do I do?"  Having no ready response, I just decided to lead by example.