I am simply mystified at how so many bloggers manage to sit and write so often and so much ... with what appears to be an astounding breadth and depth of knowledge of all current events ... and even what their fellow bloggers are saying. They obviously don't live in Africa. If I am fortunate enough to have both the electricity and the internet working at the same time, I will surely have someone come by and want to "sit" with me a while.
Whereas time management is a highly developed art form in the West, and "time" an honored and respected form of "property rights",
the management of expectations seems to be the corresponding art form here in Africa. Precious little goes as "expected". But, inasmuch as we in the West "manage" our time and are genuinely more productive and prosperous for it, the typical African "has" time for their neighbor ... and I have many neighbors.
So there it is, my excuse for not posting anything for many months. I started with grand intentions and a firm resolve not to go the way of so many blogs that end after only a few posts, but I've just had a hard time getting in sync with the rhythm of life here.
But let me return to the issue of managing time. It is interesting that for all of our time saving devices that help us slice and dice up our days we never realize how small we become in the process. "Time" is us. It is actually we ourselves that are sliced and diced. We segment our lives in highly disciplined ways and give only the "time" (portion of ourselves) necessary for the task. Out of courtesy we get "straight to business" so as not to waste each other's "time". We go through life with packed schedules "meeting" people all day long ... but not really. We are really like ships passing in the night. Suddenly our colleague ends up in divorce court and we say, "Wow, I never knew they were having any problems. ... Honey, what is his wife's name again?"
Not so in Africa! People and relationships between people are much more important here than almost everything else. This is why extensive daily greetings are so important. It has taken me a while to appreciate this. I'm sure I have appeared as a barbarian to my friends and neighbors as I have said "hello" and gone straight to the point of my visit ... or worse, as I've asked them to get to the point of their visit.
Throughout this part of Africa, there is often quite a ritual of greetings between people -especially upon their first meeting of the day. As an outsider, this time of greeting appears to be an enjoyable time of sharing. But it also seems, in some way, to continue or extend an existing relationship, even between close relatives. I'm almost tempted to think that a relationship must be renewed each day by the way they greet one another, even when a good relationship already exists. It almost seems that a person cannot presume upon the relationship of yesterday to care for the relationship needs of today (relationships are the "social security" system in Africa). But this is just speculation. Yet, it is the only reason I can think of to explain why, when I leave town, I receive calls from people just to greet Susan and me. They greet, inquire of our well being (it is never just me but always Susan and me), and then they hang up. Even the process of saying "goodbye" is drawn out a bit here. You never just say goodbye and close the door behind someone. You accompany a visitor who is leaving for some distance down the road. Relationships are treated with the utmost honor and respect.
For us, the honeymoon is over. We are no longer visitors. We have been here long enough to be expected to behave "normal". We are expected to embrace the cultural value that people are esteemed far more highly than projects, plans, schedules ... or blogs. But it is, nonetheless, my sincere hope (and "expectation") to once again resume posting my musings here. But, in the very likely event of another delay, you can know that I'm not "wasting" time. I'm cultivating the art of "having" time and "managing" expectations.
